That’s a great subject. It would make a great book title. A distinguished and successful pastoral leader I respect named Stan Toler has written a short blog article with four quick points that contain a great deal of wisdom. Here’s the link
As an added idea; if doing something for yourself also forwards a personal goal, you have a double win. For example, sometimes the time I take for myself is to take a long walk which helps with my physical fitness goals.
“I received email from 6 organizations wanting donations from me today. This is pretty much a daily happening and it’s causing me mixed feeling. The question is how do I handle this situation? I have my pet charities; but I don’t feel I should support them all. Some of them do grab at my heart when it comes to children and animals, and even disabled or blind vets. The list is getting longer and I feel guilty when I discard them. This is not counting the many calls I get via phone – please give me some advice.”
It is unfortunately part of the modern world that we are able to receive so many calls for donations. As you mentioned, some come by phone and some by email, not to mention TV. Many come from automated mailing systems. I’m sure before long they will figure out how to send them in other ways as well. Even at church we have plenty of fund appeals. There are twin spiritual and emotional dangers. On the one hand, we can become overwhelmed by them and laden with guilt so that we hardly know what to do. On the other hand, and this may be even worse, we can become immunized by the barrage of them to the point that our compassion atrophies and we can no longer respond when we should.
Here is a strategy that I recommend that I believe will allow us to respond in compassion appropriately while protecting ourselves from overload.
1. Pray about where God is calling you to help.
2. Then choose a few charities that are very reputable and that deal with issues that are dear to your heart. Use your passion for issues and world needs as a guide. For example, if you feel strongly that you would like to eradicate cancer, then you might choose the American Cancer Society as one of your charities.
3. The number of charities you choose may depend on your means but for most people, I think it will probably be from 3-6. Keep the list small enough so that you can respond occasionally to all of them every year. Don’t worry if you don’t respond to every call. I don’t think anyone does that. Most of us can’t. Married couples may decide to each add some favorite ones to a joint list or they may each have their own.
4. Your local church will likely be your number one charity.
5. I recommend that all Christians in developed countries like ours include at least one charity that ministers to needs in the third world in their list. It might be UMCOR or World Hope (the one JoAnne and I have chosen), or Samaritan’s Purse or World Vision, for examples (Gal. 2:10).
6. Consign all other email solicitations ruthlessly to the junk email box. For most of the repeated ones, you can get your browser to do this for you before you even see them. Trash both email and snail mail from other charities without even opening it.
7. For phone calls, tell the person up front if their charity is not on your list and if they won’t take “no” for an answer, they deserve a hang-up.
8. The fact that you are obeying God in generosity to the charities you have chosen helps you to not feel guilty in disregarding the others. Seek to be at peace with your level of giving. God does not want you to feel burdened with guilt about it but to be a joyful giver (2 Cor. 9:7).
9 Follow faithfully the charities that you have chosen, allowing God to use you to help them. Read their materials and become knowledgeable about them.
10. Annually evaluate your overall participation in your chosen charities. If you do taxes, that is a natural time to evaluate. Your ultimate goal as a Christian steward is God’s well-done for your handling of the wealth he has entrusted to you. A term that I have found helpful in measuring my response is to ask whether or not I have been generous. God loves generosity and his economy rewards it. As the Proverb says, “The generous will themselves be blessed” (Pr 22:9 NIV 2011).
My wife challenged me on Facebook to list the top ten books that have influenced my life. I don’t necessarily take up every Facebook fad. But this one I consider a very thoughtful and potentially helpful exercise. One of the proverbs I heard along the way is “Leaders are readers!” I agree totally. This challenge is also in keeping with one of the goals of my blog, to record the books I have read and comment on them. So here goes:
The Holy Bible – KJV Thompson Chain Reference. I was given this for Christmas by my parents when I was about 12 years old. It represents the Bible-learning culture in which I was raised. It was my earliest textbook for studying the Bible. I still treasure it and use it occasionally.
The Holy Bible – NIV 1984. This version of the Bible became the translation that I read day after day, the version that molded my mindset and helped me communicate the Gospel to a generation that had never heard of King James of England, nor did they understand his language. Now I read and use the 2011 NIV since I follow the Reformation principle that the Bible must be in the language of the people. But the 1984 version will always be in my heart.
Growing Spiritually – E. Stanley Jones. I was in seminary, I think, when I read this devotional classic. I was captured and challenged by the practical Wesleyan theology, poignant illustration from life, and excellent thinking by one who has become one of my favorite devotional writers. This book prompted a definite step forward in my own spiritual growth.
Developing the Leaders around You – John C. Maxwell. During my first pastorate I began to be mentored by the speaking and writing of John Maxwell. I didn’t know how much I needed it. I now have a dozen of his books that I have read and I still consider this one among his very best. I also have a shelf full of others on the topic of leadership. This book started me on a whole different journey of not just doing well myself, but enabling others to do well. This intentional focus as well as trying to teach church leaders to do the same has added untold dimensions to my ministry and extended its effectiveness many years. It has enabled me to be a factor in launching or enhancing the ministry of many others too.
Communication: Key to Your Marriage – H. Norman Wright. With this book there was a companion volume The Pillars of Your Marriage. They were not deep, but they were practical. They were intended for class use and included discussion questions too. I interacted with these books and other similar ones at a time in our marriage when I desperately needed to learn more about how to have a successful marriage. They were very helpful both to me personally and in my ministry over the years to others.
Secrets of the Vine – Bruce Wilkinson. Sometimes you are looking for books that will prod spiritual renewal in your life. This is such a book. I have now read the book at least three times. The first time I read it, I wrote in the cover, “I finished this book today…it was a life-changing experience.”
The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership – John C. Maxwell. This is John Maxwell’s classic. It has helped me immensely to understand leadership and learn to practice it. I am still learning and growing. This book confirmed for me that leadership is one of the three most essential areas of understanding/preparation needed by pastors. (The other two are preaching/teaching and counseling/personal work.)
Fresh Faith – Jim Cymbala. One of the areas I needed to grow spiritually as a pastor was faith. Reading Jim Cymbala’s testimony-laced books is one of the ways God has helped me to do that. It is challenging and inspiring to read what God is doing at Brooklyn Tabernacle and it makes one pray for greater faith.
Just Walk Across the Room – Bill Hybels. Another of the great mentors for pastors today is Bill Hybels. This book is among his best. It is such a practical and everyday approach to reaching other people for Jesus. I think it is evangelism as it was meant to be. It has helped me to look for opportunities daily to be a blessing for Jesus’ sake.
The Purpose Drive Church – Rick Warren. I had already been a pastor for 15 years when I read this book. I immediately said that it was the best book on how to do church that I had ever read. As far as I am concerned, it has not had a rival until Andy Stanley’s Deep and Wide came out in 2012. Warren helped me to understand that discipleship was crucial and that I needed to help people step by step to move closer to the church as a part of their spiritual journey.
I’ve read so many books over the years that I can’t be sure I haven’t missed one somewhere. I reduced my library by more than half when I moved in 2013 and I still have four floor-to-ceiling bookshelves full in my office. I have tried to choose books for my top ten that represented important areas of reading. The best books often prompt us to read more by the same author or more in that subject area. All of these books have done that. And I keep buying new books and reading more. I admit that the time I now spend on social media has cut into my reading time, but it has not eliminated it. I am still completing new books! How about you?
This afternoon I took a walk up Broad Hill Road and on up the hill. I turned left into the Holcombe Farm trails and took the High Ridge Trail. I wasn’t feeling tops, but I have found that pushing myself to walk when I am not feeling spunky often helps me in the long run. There was not a lot to see in the early spring woods. I had to watch my footing as the trail was muddy in places from small springs. But I had my trusty hiking staff to keep me steady. I always keep my eyes open and today I was especially looking for spring flowers. After all, it is May and the old adage says, “April showers bring May flowers.” I was not disappointed. On my way to the woods, I had seen red trilliums in two different gardens but I did not find any yet in the woods. However I did find a beautiful little rock garden type plant growing in the path and among the mosses. It seemed to be a more dainty version of a plant I had recently planted in my own rock garden.
I was nearly back to the beginning of the High Ridge Trail when I almost stumbled over a fallen but still intact bird’s nest. It was too small to be a robin’s nest, built of different materials, and more neatly built too. I wasn’t sure if the white material in it was some kind of fine bark or lichen. I took its picture to record another find of interest on my path. Finds like this are why I prefer outside walks to inside treadmills any day, even though I might get rained on occasionally as I did today before I got home.
I guess my walk is another illustration of how we seem to find things of interest if we are alert and looking. Just becoming an observer of nature would cure boredom for many people, I’m quite sure. I derive so much pleasure on my walks from observing different aspects of the natural world that I have taken time over the years to learn a little about –rocks, trees, birds, wildflowers, ferns, mushrooms, and animals all provide something fascinating regularly. I’m afraid many people don’t notice much. I haven’t always either.
I think the habit of looking for interesting and beautiful things in nature helps us also to get in the habit of looking for good things in all of life. We all know that if we look for trouble, we find it; and if we look for good things, we will find them too. Noticing things we can rejoice and give thanks for gives us a healthy sense of anticipation and keeps our spirits up every day.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (Jas 1:17 NIV).
Like many northerners, I enjoy seeing a little snow around Christmas but soon afterward begin to wish it were springtime. But, alas, there are still three months until spring if it arrives on time. Then if we have a cold snowy February like this year, it seems like winter goes on forever. So how does one make the time fly by? I was thinking about that today. My wife and I must be doing a particularly good job this year as I have hardly had time to wish for spring yet. Here are my recommendations for making a long winter shorter.
First, be sure to make a big deal of Christmas and by all means, don’t tear all the decorations down on Dec. 26th. For ourselves, we never take any decorations down before Epiphany (Jan. 6) which is the traditional end of the Christmas season in the Christian Church. Then, since I invite children from church over to see my trains around the tree and there are usually some children who haven’t come by Jan. 6, I leave the trains up longer until all have had a chance to see them. So what if it is sometimes February by the time I get it all put away.
Second, I suggest having some winter-only hobbies. We have two. One is feeding the birds. Here in rural CT, bears will tear your feeder apart, I’m told, if you feed birds while they are awake anyway, so bird feeding makes a great winter hobby. It’s also a very cheerful thing watching chickadees, juncos, cardinals, nuthatches, woodpeckers, etc. outside your window. Occasionally a hawk may visit seeking a fat junco for a meal. This year I have a cute and perky Carolina wren visiting regularly.
Another activity that JoAnne and I save for winter weeks is putting together jigsaw puzzles. We both enjoy the challenge. After we complete one, we carefully bag up the puzzle and put it back in the box for storage. We’ll get it out and put it together again in a year or two. Some become favorites and go together faster every year. Essentials for this hobby are a spare dedicated table spot that doesn’t need to be disturbed often, a small collection of puzzles you like in sizes you like, and a handy puzzle lamp. We like 500, 750 and 1000 piece sizes the best.
In addition to our work at church and our interaction with our daughter and her family, these 3 winter pastimes keep the cold days passing quickly. Before we know it, it will be spring. And I haven’t even resorted to pulling out the seed catalogs to make garden plans yet—well, maybe a few times.
I am very disturbed by the alarming trend in the moral tone of some GM advertising. I do not usually watch much television, but I do enjoy the winter Olympics and GM has been advertising heavily on NBC during the Sochi games. I am saddened and disappointed at the low moral level reflected in some of the ads. In addition, as a person who has driven more GM cars by far than any other brand, and currently drives a Chevy Equinox, I even feel a little betrayed.
Let’s begin with the lowest one. You know the one I mean. “I can’t believe you got a tattoo on your…” The viewer is left to imagine some kind of outrageous drunken night before which the male driver may not even fully remember and which his wife or girlfriend riding with him seems to take in stride as semi-normal. Is this coarse humor the best they could do to advertise connectivity? This follows the disturbing habit of much media to proffer that which gets noticed without taking any responsibility for its ethical content or probable influence. I prefer following St. Paul’s advice, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29 NIV).
Then there is the ad by Cadillac that would turn off any morally mature person. It is the epitome of hated American arrogance that gives us a bad reputation around the world. The man talks about how we left the keys in a car on the moon because we’re the only ones going back. We left because we got bored. The further implication is that we can drive Cadillac because we only take two weeks off in August rather than four like the Europeans. What snobbish nonsense! The writers of that ad were obviously not schooled in history or Christian ethics either. “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18) and “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6) have not been part of their reading.
Finally, take the case of the young babysitter who, after noticing the Tahoe’s fine and expensive leather interior raises her price $20 on the spot. Raising the price based on presumed ability to pay is the stuff of tourist trap street vendors, not normal business dealings. It is hardly an example of honesty or wise interpersonal relationships. It is also a counter-productive ad because the person driving the Tahoe will feel cheated. (Also note that the baby sitter will be unlikely to be rehired.) So the implicit ad message is, if you buy a Tahoe you get to be taken advantage of. People would much rather be respected by honest dealing than by looking rich enough to be taken advantage of!
These ads do not reflect good moral thinking at GM. I pray for better from a blue chip American company.
I have been reflecting today on two completely independent items that I read. The first was an article about the problem of officers being ejected from the Army in alarming numbers for character issues of various kinds. Here is the quote.
“The number of U.S. soldiers forced out of the Army because of crimes or misconduct has soared in the past several years as the military emerges from a decade of war that put a greater focus on battle competence than on character. Data obtained by The Associated Press shows that the number of officers who left the Army due to misconduct more than tripled in the past three years.” http://news.yahoo.com/ap-exclusive-misconduct-forces-more-soldiers-145434065.html
Having been in the military myself for a few years, I am aware that young officers are college graduates. I reflected that this is not the only place where college educated people seem to be showing disappointing levels of moral character. The halls of Congress and the governors’ offices of several eastern states in recent years have provided too many high profile examples of moral failures. One would hope that higher levels of education would lead to higher maturity of character too.
The other item that I read was in a letter from Dr. Shirley Mullen of Houghton College. It alluded to one of the fundamental causes of this observed counterintuitive and disturbing decline in character.
“Earlier this month, New York Times Columnist David Brooks addressed more than 300 presidents of America’s private universities and colleges at the Presidents’ Institute of the Council of Independent Colleges. At a time when much of the dialogue about higher education in America is about cost, graduation rates, job training, and student loans, Brooks pleaded with the presidents not to forget what society needs most from college graduates: character and wisdom. He then proceeded to assert that the only sector of American higher education that has an explicit strategy for the development of character and wisdom is the Christian college. It is not often that Christian colleges are called out for praise within the larger world of American higher education!”
It does not take a genius to see the relationship between these two quotes. Christian colleges represent only a very small slice of American higher education. That means most of American college graduates spend their college years in institutions where character and wisdom are not part of the agenda. When these are not part of the agenda, students often use their formative years as something of an unholy “moral holiday,” a time when they throw off restraint. With no one even attempting to guide this time of experimentation, the results are frequently predictably disastrous.
As a longtime advocate of Christian colleges in general and of Houghton College in particular, I have said for years that parents need to invest their college dollars in colleges were character matters and where good character is formed, not destroyed; colleges like Houghton. For this reason, when our daughter was choosing a college my wife and I said to her, “We are going to be investing a lot of money in this; you pick the college, but it has to be a Christian college.” We knew she liked new places, so it was a surprise when she picked her mother’s alma mater, Houghton College. Houghton did not disappoint!
Many years ago JoAnne and I had the privilege of meeting Dr. Tim Elmore who is being interviewed for this article. He makes excellent points about how many parents are trying to protect their children or do what is easy for themselves but in the process are not doing what is strongest for their children’s growth in leadership. It is so important for parents to take the long term perspective.
Here’s an interesting and excellent post by another pastor encouraging parents to be proactive in the spiritual training of their children. It will make one think.
http://www.nathanrouse.org/2013/12/04/the-crime-happening-in-your-church/
A new study has found that immigrants help the prosperity of areas where they live. I have seen this first hand in the boost immigration has given to some neighborhoods in Syracuse NY and Utica NY. But they would not be surprised at the results of the study if they had read the words of the wise man recorded in Proverbs. “A large population is a king’s glory, but without subjects a prince is ruined” (Proverbs 14:28 NIV 2011).
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505143_162-57602552/can-immigration-speed-the-economic-recovery/