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Journal News Commentary Wisdom

Good news about church marriages and why

Church wedding

Contrary to some reports, a careful review of marriage statistics by a Harvard trained researcher, Shaunti Feldhahn, has good news about church marriages.  It reports that the divorce rate for people who practice Christian faith together regularly may be as low as 15-20%.   For those who also did not co-habit before marriage, the rate may be as low as 5-10%.    It makes a huge difference if we practice our faith together by attending services regularly.   Here’s the link.

http://www.charismanews.com/us/44398-church-divorce-rate-way-lower-than-anyone-thought

Why might this be so?  Here are a few of my ideas.

  1.  Submitting ourselves weekly to God’s Word read and expounded and participation in personal and cooperate prayer gives the Holy Spirit opportunity to whisper in our minds and hearts the little corrections and admonitions that we need to help us to love one another well.  Proper Christian worship combats pride, selfishness and materialism/greed/sensuality.
  2.  The group atmosphere and the teachings affirmed by Christian churches shape our personal values in the direction of solving our marital issues,  valuing our spouse,  learning to say ‘I’m sorry,’ and ‘I love you,’ and other such skills that strengthen relationships.  In short, the Bible teaches us to love.
  3.  Relationships within the community provide friendships, often assist in life’s stressful crises and model marital success.
  4.  Often pastoral care and coaching from church staff or trained lay persons is valuable to individuals or couples going through hard times.
  5.  The marital success stats of Christian couples are more evidence that God lives in and among his people.   God is with us!  God is blessing his people with peace.  The first fruit of the Holy Spirit’s presence is love (Gal. 5:22).

 

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Journal News Commentary Wisdom

Trauma response can possibly be passed to the next generation

These two articles talk about scientific investigations that have started to show that what happens in one generation can affect the genetic makeup of the next.   Specifically, the first article showed that a specific gene was altered in the children of Jewish Holocaust victims compared to children of Jews who did not experience the Holocaust.   If this kind of linkage proves out, it will be one huge reason why the Bible teaches that God is very interested that the home be preserved intact.   Breaking up a home is traumatic for children.    Our society does not think about how its actions and lifestyles affect its children.  Then we expect the children to do better and better on tests regardless of what is happening at home.   It doesn’t work that way.   A stable, loving and supportive home environment is the beginning and continuing foundation of a good education.   It may prove to also be related genetically to the mental health of the next generation.

http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/21/study-of-holocaust-survivors-finds-trauma-passed-on-to-childrens-genes

http://discovermagazine.com/2013/may/13-grandmas-experiences-leave-epigenetic-mark-on-your-genes

 

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Journal News Commentary Wisdom

Yes, We Need to Change

 

http://www.christianpost.com/news/we-must-change-obama-says-about-school-shooting-86754/

I think President Obama is right.  Our society as a whole must change if carnage like we have experienced four times in his four year presidency is to be stopped.   The key question is:  How must our country change?  As a pastor, writing from my perspective, I suggest the following three practical ways to change as a transforming start.

Believe in Hell

1.  We must get back to the genuine fear of God that acknowledges that we are responsible to God after we die for what we do while we are alive.   The Bible is clear that there is a hell and Jesus said plainly that those who do evil will be condemned (John 5:29).  Sad to say, the suffering of murderers like Adam Lanza has only begun.  The Apostle John wrote simply, “You know that no murderer has eternal life in him” (1 Jn 3:15 NIV)   Think about the ethical company of a murderer in the Bible and what happens to them after death.  For example, “We also know that law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious; for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, for adulterers and perverts, for slave traders and liars and perjurers — and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine  that conforms to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me” (1 Ti 1:9-11 NIV)  In the Bible’s final book, murderers are included with others in such company  in the list of those condemned.   “The cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars — their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death” (Rev. 21:8 NIV).   The longer we indulge in practical atheism with a corresponding lack of after-life responsibility, the more people will believe the devil’s lie that they can commit suicide after murder and escape consequences.   It is not so.

Corollary A.  This also means preachers like me need to say more about hell.   One of the reasons people don’t believe in it much is that preachers don’t talk about it much.   In my grandparent’s time and before, preaching `hell-fire and brimstone’ was popular.  The pendulum has swung too far the other way and now it is seldom mentioned.   That needs some correction.    Jesus taught, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Mt 10:28 NIV).

 

Fewer Divorces

2.   We must acknowledge and act upon the truth that divorce makes children, including older adolescents like Adam Lanza more vulnerable to maladjustment.   As Christians, we acknowledge that sometimes divorce is going to happen, but it is happening way too much and without recognition of the consequences to children.  We have deceived ourselves as a society into thinking that we can divorce without consequences to our children’s development.  This assumption is not Biblical.   In Malachi, God says about the heterosexual couple, “Has not [the Lord] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.    “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty”  (Mal 2:15-16).   Why does God picture divorce as opposed to the goal of godly progeny?   Because it is the truth as any single Mom can attest and many sociological studies have confirmed that children have a much harder time doing well in life when the parents are not both present and on the job together.    We will not successfully address the problem of off-the-wall violent young adults until we address the broken homes that contribute to their pain.  We need to acknowledge that our selfishness in having it our way and refusing to seek counsel for reconciliation or refusing to bend, our hardness of heart as Jesus put it, is part of the problem.   

 

Bloodshed in Media is Not Entertaining

3.  As a society, we must stop enjoying violence in entertainment.  A society that makes heroes on film and in video games of people who spatter blood everywhere will sooner or later be afflicted by real violence of the kind we have seen.  Since God hates bloodshed, it cannot be our better side that calls bloodshed in media entertainment.    Morally undeveloped individuals tend to follow unreal fantasy heroes, including violent ones from film and video.   The more plentiful and highly acclaimed this kind of ‘hero’ is, the more likely to attract a low moral intelligence look-alike for real.  We can all honor the victims of Sandy Hook by returning all violent video games and not attending any movies with predominant shoot-em-up, blood-letting themes.   If we did that, soon we would have better fare at the box office and among the gaming apps.   When ancient Israel became a violent nation, God said to them, “Since you did not hate bloodshed, bloodshed will pursue you” (Eze 35:6).   If we truly hate what we saw in Connecticut and Virginia Tech, etc., then we have a clear consumer choice to make.     

 

Just these 3 changes would make a difference

Certainly these are not the only issues that need to be discussed after what has happened.  How we handle mental health issues in the family, access of the mentally unstable to guns in their family circle,  security at schools, jobs and job training for marginally employable young men, these also need further discussion.  But they are not my focus.  I believe that the three changes I have suggested would make a huge difference.  The change will not come overnight.  But these three modifications in our beliefs and behaviors would transform our culture in ways that would drastically reduce the incidence of horrendous violence.