coping – Learn To Be Wise

Grieve the losses

Grief is a process given to us to help us navigate loss. Today we are more insulated from grief and the associated natural process of recovery because death is much less with us, thankfully, than in previous generations. But there are times, like now, that we need to understand grief better. We also need to know that we grieve for all types of losses, including the kinds associated with this election. For example; there is no doubt as evidenced by the news every day that there’s been a loss in respect for minorities among some because of the election. Also, the principle of respect for women has suffered a loss by the elevation of one who has disrespected women. How do we react? Feelings of denial, sadness, anger (both focused and projected), and second-guessing ourselves and others are normal parts of grieving. Learning to handle our grief in healthy ways is part of the human experience.

Look for the balanced perspective

For those on the Democratic side, remember that anytime a candidate wins the popular vote while losing the Electoral College, it is a sign that the election was very close. Any time a candidate wins as strongly among younger people as Clinton did, it is a strong sign for future elections. Democrats have some things to feel good about too. For Republicans, to gloat is arrogant and counter-productive. A strong majority of urban Americans voted against you and they live in the most influential centers of the country. The Bible urges humility. Humility is a lost virtue today and suffered further loss in this election. But humility helps immensely in human relations. Unfortunately, on-screen it is usually wrongly mistaken for weakness. I would caution us to look for the balanced perspective in our circumstances.

Do not return evil for evil

One of the Bible’s most famous sayings is, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil” (Rom 12:17). Just because the election featured rude, crude, and obnoxious conversation, is no excuse for us to join that party. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Rom 12:21). While Hillary Clinton’s embrace of the “nasty woman” epithet may have been a shrewd debate move, “nasty” is not exactly a winsome characteristic. But kindness is. Donald Trump’s past behavior and attitudes are a problem, not something to be emulated. But if we copy the worst elements of leaders, we magnify the difficulties. If we repay evil for evil we become part of the problem, not part of the healing solution. Instead, “pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness” (1 Tim. 6:11).

Be thankful for what is good

I, for one, am very glad that Thanksgiving follows this election. It will be very healthy for us all if we can get our minds off the divisions and contentious issues of the election and step back and be genuinely thankful for the blessings that we have. It will lessen our stress, it will lower our collective blood pressure, and will help us to have a better emotional and mental foundation for the cooperation in daily life and in government that the people of this land desire and deserve.

In the wake of a disturbing election how do we cope? Here are a few suggestions from a long-time pastor.

Do not live in fear.

One of the most prominent messages from God to his people in the Bible is simply yet powerfully this; “Do not be afraid!” These exact words occur 74 times in the current NIV translation. The words were spoken in times more uncertain than ours. While this election has elicited fear on all sides for multiple reasons, it is the heritage of believers in all times to “trust and not be afraid” (Isa. 12:2). As Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27). Our hope is always in God, not a person or a political process. And when we feel threatened, we look to God for our hope and strength to overcome.

Do something fun

Jesus himself recognized that we needed times to get away from the stress of thinking about things like elections (Mark 6:31). Sabbath rests and time of exercise or recreation help us to keep our perspectives wholesome and they lift our emotions too. Personally, I like to take a long walk in the nearby forest preserve.

Stand firm in your own life for what is good.

One of the most disturbing things to me about this election cycle has been that it has seemed to further legitimize the rude, the crude and the divisive in America. Both parties set new lows in negative advertising. So all of us face a challenge afterwards as to what our vison is for our country and what our behavior will be. Will we be part of the decline or part of the recovery? For Christians, our course is clear. “Show proper respect to everyone” (1 Peter 2:17). “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph. 4:29). This is a high calling that affects how we use language to emphasize a point or express anger, what movies we approve, what jokes we tell, how we speak about those with whom we disagree, who we choose as heroes and stars, and how we treat those different from us. Let us be “eager to do what is good” (Tit. 2:14).

Pray!

A pastor friend of mine referred to this verse this morning in a post. “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain” (Ps 127:1). No matter who is in charge on this earth, peace and blessing are ultimately God’s gifts. This November is also a good time to remember one of our basic prayer verses, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:6-7). Pray especially for our president elect whether we like him or not. If you like him, pray that God will use his strengths to benefit all. If you don’t like him, pray that God will protect the country from his weaknesses. (The same prayers could be prayed for every public servant.) Pray for the government transition in the US as well.

There is a time for everything

For younger voters especially, I would encourage a little of the perspective of Solomon. “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun” (Eccl 1:9). I recall a conversation eight years ago after Obama’s first victory. It was a chat between a fervent Republican and a strong Democrat. The Democrat said pointedly to the Republican, “Well, if we can survive eight years of George H. W. Bush, you can survive eight years of Obama.” I thought of that comment again last night as one of the commentators mentioned that it is extremely rare in American history for a party to hold the presidency more than eight years running. There seems to be a cycle that occurs regularly in our sturdy democracy. The pendulum swings repeatedly. I have seen enough elections now to have observed that swing multiple times and I agree. This is why parties in America go back to work and start thinking about next time, like sports teams planning for the next season.

Blog categories

Tag cloud