Categories
Journal Joy Notes Who Am I

Time for a Grandpa post

I finally had a little time to empty the cameras and go through the pictures with my laptop.   So I could not resist making a gallery of Sammy pictures to share.   JoAnne and I had the privilege of spending a few days with Mark and Keely and Sam on vacation a week ago in their newly purchased house.   Since it is an older house with some additions over the years, so it has lots of room, and lots of character, but also a few bugs–things that need to be done.   So I have been helping with repairs and repainting while JoAnne watches Sam so Keely can decorate and unpack.   JoAnne has such a tough job, she can hardly stand it — snicker, snicker.     The rest of us are doing minor remodeling while she goes for a walk with Sam and lounges with him in the bedroom so he is not in the way of the painting project.   Of course, I’m not jealous…   Anyway, here are some great pictures of my grandson and our family.   

Categories
Church Leadership Journal Wisdom

Book recommendations for marriages in troubled times

Last Sunday I finished the series of sermons called Kitchen Table Talks on Relationships.  As I was studying for the series and reviewing various sourcebooks, I was thinking about which ones to recommend to couples who were going through difficult times in their marriages.   My wife and I know from personal experience that marriage is not always easy. But we also know that with God’s help, and determination to see it through, couples can come through rough waters with a better marriage than before.   To help couples who are currently in those tough moments, here are three book recommendations.   

Making Love Last Forever by Gary Smalley (Word Publishing, 1996)  In this easy-to-read book, Dr. Smalley handles some difficult topics such as unresolved anger, deep hurts,  disappointed expectations,  marital communication and personality differences with insight and Christian wisdom.  Taking his advice seriously will help couples get back on track.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work  (Three Rivers Press, New York, 1999)  This is a different kind of book, an extremely practical and behavior-oriented book in which the author shares his research in predicting divorce and helping couples avoid it. He describes how he predicts whether a marital conflict will resolve the problem 96% of the time after only listening to 3 minutes of it.     I was skeptical until I began to read the signs he looks for, one of which is the presence of the deadly four horsemen:  criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.   I knew from personal experience with couples and from other reading that he was being very insightful and his work would be helpful.   

Fighting for Your Marriage by Howard Markham, Scott Stanley, and Susan L. Blumberg  (Jossey-Bass, San Francisco, 1994)   This book has become a classic for its description of four negative patterns that are very harmful in a relationship, patterns that must be avoided if marriages are to be healed. The authors describe the patterns well including case study examples, explanations, and practical advice as to how to change the pattern.  The four specific patterns are escalation, invalidation, withdrawal and avoidance, and negative interpretations.  When these patterns are present in the emotional interaction in a marriage they are very destructive and need to be fixed in order for the marriage to recover. This book can be very helpful in eliminating these four patterns.

Categories
Church Leadership Journal

Next Sermon Series to Focus in the Gospels

It is always refreshing to turn again to the Bible stories of Jesus’ life and ministry. As I was praying about what messages to preach for the next five weeks until Pastor Eric and the team return and are ready with their report, my mind and heart seemed drawn back to the gospel accounts of Jesus’ ministry and the basic truths of the Christian faith.  So I have designed a message series for the remainder of August and early September called Essential Perspectives for Disciples.  The messages will remind us of the basic outlooks that we need to be successful followers of Jesus.   Most of the texts come from the Gospels.    

Essential Perspectives for Disciples

Date

Title

Text

A suggested hymn

August 19

I Believe

John 1:6-14; 20:19-31; Heb. 11:1-10

We Believe In One True God (44)

August 26 (Communion)

Hunger for God

Matthew 5:6

More About Jesus (392)

September 2

Seek First

Matt. 6:19-34

I’d Rather Have Jesus (446)

September 9

Expectancy

Mark 9:14-29; II Cor. 4:8-18

My Faith has Found a Resting Place (277)

September 16

Commissioned

Mark 16:9-20;  Matthew 9:27-38

Lord, Speak to Me (510)

 

Categories
Church Leadership Journal Wisdom

Book recommendations concerning personality differences

Each week of ours sermon series called Kitchen Table Talks on Relationships I have been making recommendations on my blog for further reading on the topic of this week’s sermon.   Here are some annotated recommendations on this week’s topic of personality differences.

Florence Littauer

Christian writer and speaker, Florence Littauer has written a number of helpful books on the subject of personality.  All use the classic understanding of the four temperaments that I presented in the sermon.

Your Personality Tree (1989)   –   The one I have been using

Personality Plus (1992)  –  Her most famous book on the topic

Personality Plus for Couples (2001)

Personality Plus at Work: How to Work Successfully with Anyone  (with Rose Sweet 2001)

Tim LaHaye

Pastor Tim LaHaye also discusses the classic personality types and uses as examples famous characters from the Bible.    For some reason LaHaye does not put the types in the same quadrants as Littauer, but his chart of characteristics is excellent.

Transformed Temperaments (Tyndale House, 1971)   

David Keirsey

For those who are looking for a more complex contemporary formulation of personality types that correlates to the Myers-Briggs system rather than the classical system, I ran across a very interesting secular book that I think would be helpful.   I purchased it for my own further reading and have perused it some already.    It contains a quick and easy test too.   I like the positive names he gives to his 16 categories. 

David Keirsey, Please Understand Me II,  (Prometheus Nemesis 1998)

 

Categories
Americana Journal News Commentary Wisdom

I Cheer for Immigrants

Recently my wife was reading the book Imagine, How Creativity Works by Jonah Lehrer (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt 2012).   One evening she read to me from it some startling statistics concerning the contributions of immigrants to our American economy.

Immigrants contribute profoundly!

“According to the latest figures from the U. S. Patent office, immigrants invent patents at double the rate of non- immigrants, which is why a 1 percent increase in immigrants with college degrees leads to a 15% rise in patent production.  In recent years, immigrant inventors have contributed to more than a quarter of all U. S. global patent applications.   These new citizens also start companies at an accelerated pace, cofounding 52% of Silicon Valley firms since 1995.  We all benefit when those with good ideas are allowed to freely move about (p. 240).” 

Why are so few green cards available?

These facts heightened my passion as an advocate for immigrants.   Yet, even though we know these things, the wait for green cards is years.  Why?  Meanwhile cities like Detroit bulldoze housing for lack of citizens; while cities like Buffalo, Utica, and Syracuse struggle to rebuild their centers slowly with a trickle of immigrants.    We are depriving ourselves by our restrictive immigration policies.  

A Proverb

A Biblical Proverb reads, “A king’s glory lies in having many subjects; if the prince’s people are few, it is his ruin” (Proverbs 14:28 CJB).   The lesson is common sense.  A nation of ghost towns (or gray-haired towns) like many Northeast cities and small towns are slowly becoming cannot be strong and prosperous.   I call on Senators Schumer and Gillibrand of New York to introduce legislation to greatly increase, maybe even double the green card quotas of our country over the next few years.   Such an action would immediately bolster our declining Northeastern population.    Besides, only when legal immigration is more easily accessible will illegal immigration cease to be an issue.

 

 

Categories
Church Leadership Journal News Commentary Wisdom

Why pastors should blog

 

Blogging helps pastors communicate

http://www.heathmullikin.com/4-reasons-every-pastor-should-blog/

I recently read the above blog article by Heath Mullikin about why pastors should be bloggers.  I totally agree with him.  I like his reasons but I think I would have listed different ones.  Here are my four.   

1.      A blog makes studies, devotionals, book reviews, etc. available and accessible to people in the congregation who did not attend that particular study, to those connected more remotely with the congregation through a web of relationships either personal or electronic who may become interested in the studies, and to believers around the world, many of whom do not enjoy the resources that you do. 

 

2.      A blog helps the pastor to be real.  As I occasionally share events from my own life–vacation accounts, hobbies, things that interest me–the people in the congregation see that I am not a one-dimensional “talking head.”   I’m always amazed when people see me in gardening clothes, or dressed for fishing; they do not recognize me because they are so used to thinking of me in my Sunday morning role.  When the congregation sees the pastor as a fellow traveler on the road to heaven, a person with human interests like their own, it is easier for them to make connection when you speak on Sunday morning.

 

3.      A blog is a great place to take a stand on community and political issues.  Often there are issues you feel compelled to speak to when they arise or come up in the news.  Or perhaps there is something you want to talk about but don’t necessarily want to dedicate a whole worship service or message to it.   A blog provides the perfect forum.  It is also a great place to take part in the cyberspace dialogues about issues of our day.    It is a way to be part of what is happening in the world rather than isolated within the four walls of your church and the confines of its cliques.  

4.      Reading a blog is a great way for people who are looking for a church to get to know the pastor before they actually meet him.   By reading what you write, they can learn a lot about how you treat Scripture, how you treat those with whom you disagree, what you tend to focus on,  the passions of your heart, your family life, and your vision for the church.   There is no doubt that people today check out churches on the web before they ever darken the door. They choose churches to visit by perusing their webpages.   The pastor’s blog may be your best online advertisement.  

So now you have at least eight reasons.  Have you started blogging yet?

Categories
Journal

Practical help for the blogger

Recently I have not been able to spend as much time on blogging as I would like to spend, but I still have a great heart for it and enjoy it.   I also have not seen the response in traffic that I want to see.  Today I ran into an excellent article that I believe will help me do better.   I think it will also be of great interest to other bloggers too.   http://michaelhyatt.com/017-7-keys-to-writing-a-killer-blog-post-podcast.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TIYL+%28This+is+Your+Life%29.    Have you found some resources you could share that have helped you make your blog more interesting and interactive?

Categories
Journal Joy Notes

Boy Scout troop enjoys Men’s Retreat too

Rhett LaForte served as organizer again this year for KCWC’s annual men’s retreat to Forked Lake in the Adirondacks.     Rhett, his son Ryan, CJ Swain and Pastor Kelvin caravanned up through Barneveld to Old Forge where we stopped to buy local campfire wood.  Then we continued past Blue Mountain Lake to Long Lake where we turned left to find the state campground on Forked Lake.  

We unloaded the truck and car into Rhett’s fishing boat and pastor’s rented aluminum Grumman canoe.   This is a primitive campground where everyone has to bring what they need in by boat including drinking water.   It was a great canoe trip for me with the wind at my back.   Setting up camp was a little bit of a challenge because there were no spots level enough and without roots or rocks.   Finally we picked the least problematic and set up our tents.   Ben Mackey, Anthony, and Thomas Kipping joined us later that evening and set up camp on the adjoining site.   On Friday afternoon Stu Wilkinson brought six from his Boy Scout troop (Caleb, Damien, Jason, Eric, Mike, and Alec) for an Adirondack outing.  John Kipping came with them.   They set up camp on a huge site to the left of us, but even though the site was large, they also had a tough time finding tent spots, except for Stu who uses a hammock for sleeping—there were plenty of trees.  

Now when you go on a retreat, people all come for slightly different reasons.  Rhett is the early morning fisherman.  I relax, read, and canoe.  The boys all loved the swimming this year.   One day they played King on the Mountain on a large barely submerged rock for hours.   But on a men’s retreat, none of the guys plan on going hungry.   Besides our regular meals and an occasional second breakfast, we ate late night snacks.  At our campsite, on night one, we made popcorn over the campfire.   Late the second night we had fresh bass cooked in olive oil on tinfoil over the fire for appetizer and s’ mores for dessert.   The last night we ate peanuts and more s’ mores.  The weather was perfect. 

There were many highlights for me.   I really enjoyed camping with Rhett, CJ and Ryan.  Listening to the boys take their turns saying grace, watching them be responsible in the tasks of the campsite, seeing them thinking ahead on what needed to be done next, all this was very gratifying.  One of the main things I enjoy at retreat is canoeing and this year it was special to take Ryan and CJ each out and teach them about canoeing.  In addition, I caught a 12 inch largemouth with my fly rod last evening.  I also immensely enjoyed the informal worship time we had this morning.   In the Adirondacks on a sunny morning after a starry night, reading the first few verses of Psalm 19 takes on added meaning.   We sang “This is the Day” to celebrate God’s goodness and then we talked about wisdom and learning from mentors and Proverbs 3:5, 6.   Afterwards we loaded up and I canoed back.  The wind had changed, it was at my back again—just another sign of a truly blessed camping time.

They say pictures are worth 1000 words so I took some to share with my readers too. 

Categories
Forward Look Journal

Amended July Schedule

I’m looking forward to the men’s Adirondack retreat this coming weekend.  I usually spend my time reading, helping some of the boys fish, canoeing and watching birds.  It’s a relaxing time.  So this coming Sunday, I will be at Forked Lake, God willing, leading the Sunday service at the Men’s retreat while Larry Nemitz will be bringing the message at Community Wesleyan.   I will postpone the third one of our Kitchen Table Talks on Relationships, the one on the topic of personality differences, until the following week, July, 29th.

Categories
Journal Wisdom

Book Recommendations on Dealing with Our Anger

This week’s continuation of the sermon series Kitchen Table Talks on Relationships dealt with the subject of anger in our relationships.   I did not have a chance to mention the resource books I wanted to recommend.  

One of the books I recommended last week; Making Love Last Forever by Gary Smalley (Word Publishing 1996) has several chapters relating to anger issues as well.  Chapter 3, for example is titled “Seven Ways to Unload Unresolved Anger.” 

Another small yet very helpful book is Coping with Your Anger by Andrew D. Lester (Westminster Press, 1983)   It is available either new or used from Amazon.

A third book I recommend is Overcoming Hurts and Anger by Dwight L. Carlson (Harvest House).   The version I have is dated 1981 but I discovered that it is now available in a newer 2000 revised and expanded edition.