Help with coping after this election – especially for millennials

White House

 

 

As I was meditating this morning, thoughts came to me concerning further helpful ways to cope with this election.

 

Grieve the losses

 

Grief is a process given to us to help us navigate loss. Today we are more insulated from grief and the associated natural process of recovery because death is much less with us, thankfully, than in previous generations.  But there are times, like now, that we need to understand grief better.  We also need to know that we grieve for all types of losses, including the kinds associated with this election.   For example; there is no doubt as evidenced by the news every day that there’s been a loss in respect for minorities among some because of the election.   Also, the principle of respect for women has suffered a loss by the elevation of one who has disrespected women.   How do we react?    Feelings of denial, sadness, anger (both focused and projected), and second-guessing ourselves and others are normal parts of grieving.  Learning to handle our grief in healthy ways is part of the human experience.

 

Look for the balanced perspective

 

For those on the Democratic side, remember that anytime a candidate wins the popular vote while losing the Electoral College, it is a sign that the election was very close. Any time a candidate wins as strongly among younger people as Clinton did, it is a strong sign for future elections.  Democrats have some things to feel good about too.  For Republicans, to gloat is arrogant and counter-productive.  A strong majority of urban Americans voted against you and they live in the most influential centers of the country.  The Bible urges humility.  Humility is a lost virtue today and suffered further loss in this election.  But humility helps immensely in human relations.   Unfortunately, on-screen it is usually wrongly mistaken for weakness.  I would caution us to look for the balanced perspective in our circumstances.

 

Do not return evil for evil

 

One of the Bible’s most famous sayings is, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil” (Rom 12:17).   Just because the election featured rude, crude, and obnoxious conversation, is no excuse for us to join that party.   “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Rom 12:21).   While Hillary Clinton’s embrace of the “nasty woman” epithet may have been a shrewd debate move, “nasty” is not exactly a winsome characteristic.  But kindness is.  Donald Trump’s past behavior and attitudes are a problem, not something to be emulated.    But if we copy the worst elements of leaders, we magnify the difficulties.  If we repay evil for evil we become part of the problem, not part of the healing solution.  Instead, “pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness” (1 Tim. 6:11).  

 

Be thankful for what is good

 

I, for one, am very glad that Thanksgiving follows this election. It will be very healthy for us all if we can get our minds off the divisions and contentious issues of the election and step back and be genuinely thankful for the blessings that we have.   It will lessen our stress, it will lower our collective blood pressure, and will help us to have a better emotional and mental foundation for the cooperation in daily life and in government that the people of this land desire and deserve.    

All Scriptures from Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2001 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved.

How to react to a disturbing election

White House

 

 

In the wake of a disturbing election how do we cope?  Here are a few suggestions from a long-time pastor. 

Do not live in fear. 

 

One of the most prominent messages from God to his people in the Bible is simply yet powerfully this; “Do not be afraid!”  These exact words occur 74 times in the current NIV translation.  The words were spoken in times more uncertain than ours.  While this election has elicited fear on all sides for multiple reasons, it is the heritage of believers in all times to “trust and not be afraid” (Isa. 12:2).  As Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).  Our hope is always in God, not a person or a political process.  And when we feel threatened, we look to God for our hope and strength to overcome.

 

Do something fun 

Jesus himself recognized that we needed times to get away from the stress of thinking about things like elections (Mark 6:31).   Sabbath rests and time of exercise or recreation help us to keep our perspectives wholesome and they lift our emotions too.   Personally, I like to take a long walk in the nearby forest preserve. 

 

Stand firm in your own life for what is good. 

 

One of the most disturbing things to me about this election cycle has been that it has seemed to further legitimize the rude, the crude and the divisive in America.  Both parties set new lows in negative advertising.  So all of us face a challenge afterwards as to what our vison is for our country and what our behavior will be.  Will we be part of the decline or part of the recovery?   For Christians, our course is clear.  “Show proper respect to everyone” (1 Peter 2:17).  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph. 4:29).   This is a high calling that affects how we use language to emphasize a point or express anger, what movies we approve, what jokes we tell, how we speak about those with whom we disagree, who we choose as heroes and stars, and how we treat those different from us.   Let us be “eager to do what is good” (Tit. 2:14). 

 

Pray! 

 

A pastor friend of mine referred to this verse this morning in a post. “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain” (Ps 127:1).  No matter who is in charge on this earth, peace and blessing are ultimately God’s gifts.  This November is also a good time to remember one of our basic prayer verses, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:6-7).   Pray especially for our president elect whether we like him or not.  If you like him, pray that God will use his strengths to benefit all.  If you don’t like him, pray that God will protect the country from his weaknesses.  (The same prayers could be prayed for every public servant.)  Pray for the government transition in the US as well.

 

There is a time for everything  

For younger voters especially, I would encourage a little of the perspective of Solomon.  “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun” (Eccl 1:9).  I recall a conversation eight years ago after Obama’s first victory.  It was a chat between a fervent Republican and a strong Democrat.  The Democrat said pointedly to the Republican, “Well, if we can survive eight years of George H. W. Bush, you can survive eight years of Obama.”  I thought of that comment again last night as one of the commentators mentioned that it is extremely rare in American history for a party to hold the presidency more than eight years running.  There seems to be a cycle that occurs regularly in our sturdy democracy.   The pendulum swings repeatedly.  I have seen enough elections now to have observed that swing multiple times and I agree.  This is why parties in America go back to work and start thinking about next time, like sports teams planning for the next season.    

 

 

All verses from Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2001 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved.

 

Why I’m not voting for either Trump or Clinton

I protest the 2016 presidential election
I protest the 2016 presidential election

My dilemma

Most people I talk to are agreed — this is the worst presidential election that they ever remember. People aren’t for a candidate, they just hate one less than the other or think one less dangerous than the other. How is a person to decide what to do in this sorry election? Personally, I have decided to protest by not voting for either one. Here is why.

My reasons

1. I recall John Maxwell saying, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” Conservative Christians like me are being urged to vote for Trump because the Republican platform is more to our liking, etc. But if the leader cannot be relied upon to carry out the agenda, the platform is useless. Trump reminds me of a salesman with empty words. He says himself that he tells people what they want to hear. I can’t vote for a man like that.
2. It is time America returned to an emphasis on character in leadership. Neither Clinton nor Trump are people of high character. They are the most distrusted candidates I ever remember. From the moment Trump opened his mouth in debate 1 with a modus operandi of slander, I knew his character was suspect. Normally I am a pragmatist, able to go for the better of two choices. But in this case, neither leader meets the minimum standard of good character.
3. I am not inclined to vote for Clinton to begin with because the strong pro-abortion values she espouses [among others] are not my values. I have great sympathy for immigrant rights, traditionally seen as a Democratic value, and also with the value of helping the poor, but I’m not convinced Clinton would actually work on either one.
4. It is time the parties received a protest vote. It is a protest against the lack of a viable political middle ground in 2016 American politics. It is a protest against the idea that a party can put up some reality show star who has name recognition and expect thinking people to vote for him. It is a protest that says, there is not a candidate offered that I respect enough to vote for them. As a voter, my vote has to have some integrity—some correspondence, some kinship between the values I espouse, the vision I have for my country, and the candidate I vote for.

My protest vote

So what will I do? To not vote, to not participate in the election at all, I consider irresponsible. As a citizen it is my duty to vote. So I will be at the polls, God willing and cast a vote of some kind. I will vote in all the races too. But for the presidential race, I will be writing in the name of a candidate that I consider qualified and of high character. It will be an act of protest against the quality of the two candidates we are offered by the major parties this year.

How did we end up with such unpopular candidates?

This is one of the big questions of the 2016 election. It is also one of the hidden problems that needs to be solved if American democracy is going to thrive again. I found this video article that helps explain how it happened. It makes good sense.

http://www.bbc.com/news/video_and_audio/headlines/37802358

The next question is, “What can we do about it.”
1. More Americans need to vote in primaries. Primaries are very influential. It is intellectually tempting to be an “independent.” But the number of people who are uninvolved in primaries is part of the problem. I was an independent myself for several years until I realized the power of the primaries. Then I registered for a major party so I could express myself in the primaries. I can still vote for whomever I choose in the general election.

2. Primary voters need to keep “elect-ability” in mind when casting their ballots. Primary voters who vote for extreme, irascible or unqualified candidates who will be greatly handicapped in the general election are asking for their candidate to lose in the general election. Primary voters must strike a balance between where they stand and how electable the candidate is. And the farther to the left or right a voter is the more they need to think this way. To fail to do so is to endanger the chances of the party of your primary in the general election as is happening to both parties this year. This year it is obvious that either party would have had a cakewalk with a moderate candidate. If two moderate candidates had been put forward, we could have had a real democratic election.

3. This year’s Republican process is making a case for some kind of “vetting” by major parties in order to run in their primaries. A major party should not be put in a position as the Republicans were this year where a person they cannot truly support squeaks through with popular vote. But there is danger with this idea too as it opens the way for power player control and cronyism in the vetting process.

Gather flowers before frost

Gather flowers before the frost

Last night was the first frost here in West Granby. So for me it was time for my annual tradition, going out and cutting armfuls of flowers for season-end bouquets. I especially associate this tradition with picking marigolds as they are not the easiest to arrange and they look better in the garden, that is, until you know they won’t be there anymore tomorrow. So I usually don’t pick them til frost threatens. So late yesterday afternoon I gathered bunches of the marigolds that my sister-in-law, Chris, had given me to grow and sat down at the table to arrange them in multiple vases. For me it’s a lot of fun as I put into practice the family knack for flower arranging that came down to me from my mother, Dorothy Jones, and my grandmother, Jessie Isaman. Here are this year’s results. All the bouquets this year are all-sided bouquets. The first bouquet, the largest, decorates the dining room table. It happily matches my wife’s fall colors. The second sits at her computer desk to cheer her spot. The third is on my chair side table along side my Bible, devotional book and notepad. There are full size marigolds and two colors of smaller ones along with a very hardy daisy type plant that blooms very late. Greenery is form a licorice plant and some shrubbery that grows out front that I have to trim anyway.

Fun for the 200th Anniversary of our church

JoAnne and Kelvin Jones in costume for the 200th anniversary celebration at Copper Hill Church
JoAnne and Kelvin Jones in costume for the 200th anniversary celebration at Copper Hill Church

 

The early part of our church’s history was during the Victorian era. So to enhance the sense of the age of our church, our Anniversary committee invited people to dress Victorian if they desired for the 200th Anniversary Sunday. JoAnne and I thought that would be a lot of fun. She has been a subscriber to Victoria magazine for a long time anyway. So we thought about how to make it happen. Actually, it was a serendipity for me. I saw in the Yankee Flyer that Simsbury Theater was having a costume sale so I showed up at their warehouse for it, explaining what I was looking for. They quickly told me that they had nothing that would help me on sale but that they did have such things for rent. That suited me fine —ahm — pardon the pun. So I had the able assistance of costumer Darlene of Simsbury Theater and her helper in getting fitted for Victorian clothes. Plus, Darlene found the perfect hat for JoAnne, who already had a black dress she felt would work for the occasion, one she had crafted herself years ago, and could still wear.

I had decided months ago to grow a beard for the occasion. I had never grown a beard before. I thought that if I ever did grow one it would be like Lincoln’s. So now you see it.

Everyone loved our outfits. I even got to wear suspenders underneath. They are very comfortable, I must say. They even rented me a string tie. They could not find a 19th century round collared shirt big enough so I had to make do by folding the collar of one of my shirts under. But with that some compromise, I was good to go. Also, since it was an inside event, I did not need the top hat.

We had a lot of fun with it as you can see.

Rose Arbor Project Completed

JoAnne has always wanted a rose arbor
JoAnne has always wanted a rose arbor

 

 

When I was a boy there was a white rose arbor in our side lawn. Pictures were often taken there. It marked the entrance to one of the flower gardens on our rural farm property. When my wife was a girl, she often spent summers at her Grandparents’ house. The entrance to the sidewalk was a white rose arbor with a gate. She has always wanted a rose arbor.

The opportunity did not present itself in either of our previous pastorates. Neither property had a spot that was conducive. But when we moved to West Granby, there was a fenced in area with a broken-down gate which needed to be replaced. Being a gardener, I immediately thought, “What a great place for a small garden and a rose arbor!” I no longer want a big garden anyway. I just want to grow a few strawberries and some cucumbers so we can make pickles. And I needed to replace that gate with something that looked better. A rose arbor would be perfect here. A friend said it looks very “New-England.”

First I needed to knock down the poison ivy which you can see growing on the fence in picture two. Fortunately, I am only very mildly allergic, which helps as the ivy keeps coming back and I am not bothered as I fight it. They I began planting roses where I thought the rose arbor would be as I knew it would take a couple years for them to really become established. One was a a transplant from Keely and Mark’s as it was in a place they did not want it. Others I ordered. If you look closely, you can see that I timed it well because by this fall, I had one rose cane growing over the top of the arbor. There are several colors and one white.

I wanted to make the structure durable so it is all made of treated lumber. Some of it is donated re-purposed decking. Eventually I hope to stain it all white and add a gate. The design underwent a few changes as it was being built as JoAnne and I looked at it and decided what looked best. I have worked on it little by little for a couple years, collecting and buying materials and cutting pieces. Then this summer, I knew it needed to come together.

Already it has become a photo spot as you can see from the photo I included. This is us posing in the Victorian costumes we wore to celebrate Copper Hill Church’s 200th Anniversary.

Amend the debate process

The fact that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, the two least trusted candidates in the primary season, are running as candidates of the major parties shows that the American primary system is not working.   No doubt one of the chief causes is the debate system.  The linked article proposes some good solutions for amending the debate process.   This is the kind of discussion our country needs to be having.   Unfortunately, it looks like we are going to be stuck with one of these two undesirables in 2016.  But if we plan, perhaps we can have a better outcome in 2020.

http://theweek.com/articles/646203/americas-presidential-debates-are-broken-heres-how-fix

 

God Has Taken the Spiritual Initiative; Faith is Our Response

God reaches out to us through the Bible

“The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to him” (2 Chronicles. 16:9).

“All throughout the Bible this is one of the certain ways of God. He takes the initiative! And what he initiates, he completes! (Henry T. Blackaby)

Most of us can look into our own personal history and see examples of God’s gracious hand.   Maybe it is times when God protected us. Perhaps it is an incident in family history where God helped someone in your family circle through a very difficult time.  Maybe we are simply filled with a conscious thankfulness for all the material blessings that God has given.  Perhaps there is an awareness already of God speaking, of God’s presence, whether through Christian services, the reading of Scripture, or in personal devotional time.  All of these are witnesses for us that God is reaching out to us personally.

Christians firmly believe that God takes the initiative to reach out to us. That initiative began in the Garden of Eden when God came looking for Adam and Eve (Gen. 3:8, 9). In history, that initiative continued in the selection of Abraham and continued with God working through the nation of Israel down through the centuries to help us learn about holiness and about the character of God.  God’s initiative reached a climactic event in the coming and the life, the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But that was not the end of God’s initiatives.  Through the Holy Spirit, God’s initiative continues in the lives of each and every one of us by inner impressions and outer circumstances that guide us to follow Jesus.  These initiatives are the prevenient* grace of God in our lives. Our faith then is simply a response to the divine initiatives of God.

*If this is a new word to you, it is actually an old English word used in this context by John Wesley which means ‘going before.’